quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
