Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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