people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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