Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
