I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
