Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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