Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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