why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
BRING THE BAGELS
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
