the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How does one acquire holy water?
FUCK WHALES
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