she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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