Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize