Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
