hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
