Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
