Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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