My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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