I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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