sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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