You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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