I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
