Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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