she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
