so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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