Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
