What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just found a bag of teeth...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
