so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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