Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
