no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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