Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize