My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
