So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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