Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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