Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
