Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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