That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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