Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
