I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
