I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
