u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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