First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
