Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
