remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
