So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
