I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize