Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
