we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
