Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
