Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
