apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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