I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
