Already got asked if we're dating
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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