bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
