respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
