I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
