How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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