i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm at about main and main street
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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