Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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